ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ,-¨-. ___________________________________________________ _____ |¨-¨| /¨.-------------------------------------------------.`\ _=¨_____¨=_ | || Sal Stove Mar Bonus! Cost: 250 GP || / /¨|¨|¨\ \ | || Raising GFs || \_ \_|_|_/ _/=| || Salamando's Stove March Issue Addendum 1: || / ¨=_______=¨ \ || || |_ ¨¨¨¨¨ _| || The All-Too-Shame-Bringing Adventures || ( ¨==_//¨¨/\\_--¨ ) || of SadBot || |¨...||(=O||_==¨| \`._________________________________________________.'/ //¨¨\\\__\// / `---------------------------------------------------¨ ||//__ ¨¨¨¨¨__\\ h t t p : / / w w w . s a l a m a n d o . n e t \\ ¨¨¨¨¨/\ `\¨| /\ \¨\ /¨/ /\ \¨\ ||`|--. ... // .==. \\ //\\ || //\\ | \ / | //\\ | \ || ||¨\\ //¨\\ //¨¨\\ \\ ||__|| || ||__|| ||\\//|| ||__|| ||\\ || || || || || \`--. __ || ||--|| || ||--|| |#### |#####-||###| \#| |# ##### || _`¨¨.\ \\__// || || ||__/ || || #| || #| |# ||# #| |#_/# \\_// \\__// ---- -- -- ----- -- -- -### -- #- -# --# #- -#- ### --- `--¨ # # # # # # # #### # ### # ##### ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Once Upon a Time.... ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Some time ago, there was a little ascii-smilie Evk created. This may seem odd, but we actually create ascii-smilies quite frequently. You should try it, for fun and profit! Just hit a few random number-row-keys while arbitrarily hitting shift. Example: %-( There, that's all it takes! So, Evk created this little smilie: |[ It may look innocnet at first, but it eventually became the embodiment of torture and annoyance: SadBot. This, the sad robot smilie, is the cause of many pains and many countless wars no doubt. We start some time about halfway through last February. This is the first documented appearance of what we now know as SadBot. Let's observe. ___________________________________________________________________________ 2/15/00 8:44 PM ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Evk: Ahhhh! I'm a robot! |[ NULL POINTER WrexSoul: >:| I want to go into towns //// Comments will be posted like this. Here, I was referring to FF8, as I had just gotten to Disc 4 and discovered that I... couldn't enter towns. How annoying. //// Evk: |[] EXPLOSION IMMIENT CLEAR THE AREA (B O O M) - . - . (pieces) //// End of log //// ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ This was the first appearance of a sad robot. Later it evolved drastically, as apparent in the next log. In just this short time, we have a recognizable SadBot. The most important thing to notice is how to recognize SadBot speaking: Always in CAPS and preceeded with the SadBot face. |[ ___________________________________________________________________________ 2/17/00 8:56 PM ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Evk |[ I AM SADBOT WrexSoul Unless you know to look for that, it's hard to tell that's a smilie at all Evk |[ SADBOT IS NOT COMFORTED BY YOUR WORDS WrexSoul (comfort, console) There there. Here, have some SiO2 Evk |[ IF SADBOT IS NOT SAD AN EXPLSION WILL RESULT WrexSoul What do you want in the stead of "on the road" Suggestions: In the Deathcar On the Rampage In the Winnebego //// Here I was working on the Evk X. Damascus for President homepage. It will be available soon. //// WrexSoul Fine then! You are stupid and cheap and ugly and you smell! Evk |[ I AM HAPPY THAT I WILL NOT BLOW U- (B L A M !!!!!!!!!) How about "In the van" WrexSoul Okay! Evk I'll leave up to your imagination which one, but suffice to say I'm packing a fair amout of five dollars bills //// End of Log //// ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ The next appearance is where the first 'modern' SadBot appears, one which we can recognize and relate to. This is also where it starts getting funny, fatty. ___________________________________________________________________________ 2/17/00 9:14 PM ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ...As in "your a fag!" //// Here we come in at the end of a conversation about stupid people who do stuider insults. Them and what we'll do them once Evk becomes President. //// Evk ARGH Also people who type in ALL CAPS LOL Or who can't come up with good insults so EVK UR A FAG!11 LOL HEHE people will be the first to go I think from now on I'm going to sometimes use the least effective summon ever on you, Sadbot. Example: GO! SADBOT!! |[ WHY SHOULD SADBOT GO? LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A PARADE OF CHEAP FAILURES FOR SADBOT WrexSoul HA! (laughs at SadBot) In that case I won't use the dreaded Altima summon. Or WrexWrath Evk Good! Isn't that good, sadbot? |[ DON'T PATRONIZE ME, YOU SMUG FUCK Ooo, touchy! WrexSoul Yeah I'm personally glad I don't have Sadbot. What does he give you? Sad-J? !Mope command? Evk I don't know. What DO you give me, SadBot? |[ I GIVE YOU NOTHING BUT AMUSEMENT AT MY WRETCHED STATE. DO YOU THINK I DON'T SEE YOU LAUGH AT ME? DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, TO LAUGH AT THOSE MORE PATHETIC THAN YOU? Mabye if he levels up he turns into GothBot. |[ HA HA. I'M GLAD I HAVE MANAGED TO AMUSE YOU. WAIT, NO I AM NOT. WrexSoul HA! That's classic! I think that should go in the newsletter or something. Evk Yeah! Hear that, SadBot? You're going to be famous! |[ OH, HOW I RELISH THE THOUGHT OF FAME. NOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW THERE EXISTED FOR A TIME A SAD ROBOT, AND WILL LAUGH. EXCUSE ME WHILE I JUMP FOR JOY AT THE PROSPECT OF EVEN MORE PEOPLE DERIVING PLEASURE FROM MY STATE. WrexSoul Ha! I wonder if he has a port for a Prozac card Evk Do you, sadbot? |[ I WOULD CHECK, BUT SADLY I HAVE ONLY A LINE FOR EYES AND A CRUDE MOUTH. BE ASSURED IF I DID HAVE AMULATORY LIMBS I WOULD HAVE ENDED THE CHEAP CHARADE THAT IS MY EXISTANCE LONG AGO BY HURLING MYSELF OVER A CLIFF. WrexSoul /8 \ //// Notice that my smilies are all wearing glasses. And when I'm not I have them on my forehead. This is because I was trying to get Evk to. Now that he does I see no reason to, as he really has glasses and I don't. I may start but who knows. I started the trend, so there. //// Must be a drag to have a parties... Evk Eh, usually I just shut him off when he gets too annoying. |[ OH, HOW I WAIT FOR THE SWEET EMBRACE OF NOTHINGNESS, THE ONE BRIEF SPARK OF REDUCED HORROR IN MY FUTILE EXISTANCE - (pulls out the plug) WrexSoul THANK YOU Evk Suffice to say I won't hesititate to pull him out! Or to slash your ankles to see if you're hiding chocolate in there you tricky bastard! WrexSoul 8: | Okay! (keeps that in mind) Evk I took my glasses off. They hurt my right ear, so I don't wear them all the time //// End of Log ///// ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ And finally, the gripping conclusion to the SadBot saga. If the SadBot stories were Star Wars, this would be the Empire Strikes back. Stay tuned for the gripping conclusion! What happens to SadBot? And did Evk really make out with a dog!? ___________________________________________________________________________ 2/23/00 10:12 PM ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Evk Well ... can I get some Wrexheads? I think we should form into one entity, Wrevksoul Damascus WrexSoul Yes, that would be beneficial! I know! I'll junction myself directly to Evk! Evk :O Good job! Just don't do the wrong thing and pick SadBot! |[ DID SOMEBODY CALL ME? No. Go away. |[ STORY OF MY LIFE. I WILL BE OVER HERE SOBBING AT THE HOWLING EMPTY VOID OF MY EXISTANCE IF YOU NEED ME. WrexSoul (cough) Yes, Sadbot needs to be in a feature. That's actually a GREAT feature. You should write that. But we need to put him in the next newsletter //// I think this is a little bit of self-fulfilling prophecy here //// Evk Introducing sadbot, the bot who's sad and everyone gets sick of after a while. |[ OH, DO I FAIL TO AMUSE YOU? DO MY PATHETIC WRITHINGS FAIL TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF? WELL EXCUSE ME. AND I THINK I BURNED OUT MY SARCASM CHIPS. PLEASE REPLACE THEM, OR EVEN BETTER SMASH ME WITH A HAMMER SO I MAY FEEL THE COLD EMBRACE OF GRIM DEATH. WrexSoul Indeed! Talk about him, the GF that nobody wants Evk Right, and I'll make up a story about how I made/found him or something |[ SO YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT YOU WELDED ME TOGETHER OUT OF A COFFEE MACHINE AND A 486? I HAVE REACHED A NEW LOW WHEN A PATHETIC FLESH WASTE LIKE YOURSELF IS EMBARRASED BY CREATING ME. WrexSoul :O YOU made that atrocity! GOOD GOD! (Compatability with GF Evk went down 80 points) Evk Aw c'mon! Look, I was a little tipsy at the time! I thought it would be fun! |[ THE TRUTH COMES OUT. HE'S GOT MORE SECRETS, YOU KNOW. I THINK HE LIKES MEN. SHUT UP! That's not true! |[ I SAW HIM NECKING WITH A DOG TOO! SHUT UP!!!!!! WrexSoul :O YOU.... YOU SAID YOU ONLY DID IT THAT ONCE! AND THAT YOU PROTESTED!!!!! :O OOOOO OH GOOD LORD STOP! (compatability with Evk went down 258 points) Evk No! LIES! LIES!!!! |[ AND THEN HE SAID THAT IN REALITY HE LIKES RAP AND QUOTED YODA. I THINK YOU SHOULD KILL HIM. WrexSoul ..... Hey! SadBot's lying! I mean-- YODA!? I could've believed the gay part I could've even believed the dog part ...BUT YODA? Okay, SadBot, you and me, deul to the death! Evk Yeah! (vindicated) |[ I AM A 486 AND A COFFE MAKER AND THUS HAVE NO ARMS AND AM UNABLE TO DUEL YOU. HOWEVER IF YOU WISH TO PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERABLE EXISTANCE FEEL FREE. WrexSoul No, but I think I will put you in an near-infinite loop of compiling every possible combination of Pokémon cards, which on a 486 will take approximately 6 years This will be the most torturous 6 years of your computerized existance, as you'll experience Poképain like none other could Then you will have a TRUE reason to be a "SadBot" Evk Heh heh |[ DO YOUR WORST. AT LEAST I WILL BE DISTRACTED FROM THE MEANINGLESS OF EXISTANCE WITH THIS TASK YOU PLACE BEFORE ME. PERHAPS I WILL EVEN LIKE POKÉMON. WrexSoul heh heh heh of COURSE you'll like Pokémon (throws in screaming Pokébrat algorithm too) Okay! (install, reboot, run) Evk (wait) I hope you did'nt do anything you'll later regret |D HI! I'M POKéBOT! I WILL RUN YOUR PROGRAM BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! WHEN I AM DONE I WILL ASK YOU TO NAME EVERY POKéMON, AND IF YOU FAIL I WILL BEAT YOU UP AND THEN PUT YOU IN A LITTLE BALL! Well, that was unexpected WrexSoul : \ It takes 6 years to run that program though. I know, put the program on \quiet mode. Evk Good! He'll be out of our hair untill Pokémon is dead!! Hold on, I need food If I don't come back it means I fell asleep, but that's unlikely WrexSoul : | Well if you're not back in 25 minutes I'm calling Evk Okay! WrexSoul And I mean repeatedly Evk And I will either answer it and say "Mmmmoshi moshi" or be really pissed! But don't worry, I'm sure I will be baq WrexSoul Good! Go then! Git! Evk (gits on) Evk Well well well! Evk Gebbak here or I'm gonna go play super wrestle angels!! WrexSoul Sorry I was sitting in for the simpsons //// Whoa that's about where it stops being interesting. End of Log //// ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ And thus concludes the tale of SadBot. Will he be stuck in a Pokémon runloop for eternity? Or will there be a power-outage that resets his circuts? Will he ever evolve into GothBot? And who was that dark-hooded man? These, and many more questions won't be answered by me any time soon. Thus concludes this addendum the Salamando's Stove. Thank you very much, and have a good day. ___________________________________________________________________________ Contact Information ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ WrexSoul http://salamando.2y.net/misc/wrexsoul.html wrexsoul@salamando.net ICQ: 902240 AIM: WrexSoulll (usually inactive) \/. vvv Evk X Damascus http://salamando.2y.net/misc/evk.html evk@salamando.net ICQ: 11029633 AIM: ArchEvk (always inactive, unless @ work) Rotting in the Gulag